Faith in Family Life

by Loren D. Marks, David C. Dollahite, and Joanna Jacob Freeman - Faith in Family Life

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith and prayer.

Faith is not only a belief, but is a principle of action in all intelligent beings.  Joseph Smith

Prayer is the process by which the will of the father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other.  LDS Bible Dictionary

Prayer, like faith, is a principle of action.

Object Lesson – Drop a quarter into a glass of water.  Discuss what happens.  Next, drop an Alka-Seltzer in the glass of water.  Discuss how that was different.  How does this relate to exercising faith and the power of prayer?  (Answer:  Faith and prayer are principles of action.  When we go through the motions of just saying our prayers, it is similar to the quarter.  We cross it off our to-do list.  When we use our prayers to learn what Heavenly Father’s will is in our life and with our circumstances, it changes our life—just like the Alka-Seltzer changed the water.  When we exercise faith, it shows in our words and actions.  We live the gospel each day and try to be obedient.  We look forward with faith and hope to what lies ahead. 

Our Religious Community can Strengthen us

“It takes a village to raise a child” is an old African saying.  It applies to us in our ward families.  When we meet together and associate with other people, we can gain a better perspective on our own struggles.

Activity:  Tie pieces of yarn to a stick or broom—enough for each family member.  Have family members stand in a circle with the stick or broom in the middle.  The goal is to keep the broom standing up.  Try to have just one person hold it up with their piece of yarn.  Then try two people.  It works best when every person holds onto their piece of yarn.  When we work together to accomplish the same goals, we can help and strengthen each other. 

Importance of Being Equally Yoked

2 Corinthians 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

Both the man and the woman must be willing to wear the harness of partnership, pull equal weight, and bring equal strength to the cause of the relationship. Our partner should have complimentary rhythms and expectations in life. Much like the oxen yoked inside a harness together, each should have a matched energy, gait, talents, abilities, loyalty, dedication, love, and a desire to accomplish the task ahead.   http://www.ldssingles.com/celestial_relationship.html

Sociologists found that Latter-Day Saint interfaith marriages were more than three times as likely to end in divorce as LDS-to-LDS marriages.  LDS-to-LDS marriages were classified by the researchers as “remarkably stable”.  The divorce rate between LDS-to-non-LDS was nearly twice as high as other interfaith marriages.  This could be explained by the significant demands placed on Latter-day Saints.  A study found that “highly religious Latter-day Saints are less likely to engage in pre-marital sex, are more likely to support a traditional division of labor in marriage, and are more likely to desire a large family.”  These proclamation-centered values can be expensive as viewed from a non-LDS perspective.  They cost significant time, discipline, energy, sacrifice, status, money, and an array of opportunity costs.  When a spouse is called to a demanding church calling, there can be significant costs to the family.

The demands of fully consecrated commitment to the LDS Church are best borne by married couples who are equally yoked and covenanted.

Discuss the reasons members of the church are willing to sacrifice to help build the kingdom of God. 

Discuss how your family can prepare for challenges that might come when member of the family are called to serve.

“The extent to which husbands and wives hold similar religious beliefs and participate jointly in religious practices appears to be one of the stronger religious predictors of marital quality.”

Practicing our Religion Strengthens the Family

In a study of 217 religious spouses, they found that prayer did the following:

·         Enhanced experiences of emotional validation
·         Promoted accountability toward deity
·         De-escalated negative interactions, contempt, hostility, and emotional reactivity
·         Enhanced relationship behavior
·         Facilitated partner empathy
·         Increased self-change focus
·         Encouraged reconciliation and problem-solving
·         Promoted a sense of guidance from God

There is a strong, two-way connection between religious practice and family relationships.

In a study from the National Study of Youth and Religion, youth that are devoted to their religion reported having the highest quality of parent-child relationships in every area studied, including levels of honesty, acceptance, and understanding; getting along; and feeling loved by and close to their parents.

Adapting to Children and Youth

Heavenly Father wants us to equally yoked in marriage.

Object Lesson:  Show a can of motor oil and a bottle of clean water.  Demonstrate how both are clean and pure.  How does oil become pure?  (Through refining)  How is the water pure? (Distilling) Mix some of the oil with the water. Replace the lid of the water bottle and shake it up.  What is wrong?  The oil and water will not mix.  How is this like two people with different beliefs and standards getting married? 

“Seek a companion who is worthy to go to the temple to be sealed to you for time and all eternity.  Marrying in the temple and creating an eternal family are essential in God’s plan of happiness”  (For the Strength of Youth 5).